Sniglets - Words That Should Exist
Words That Should Exist But Don't==================================
Snackmosphere - The 95% air inside bags of potato chips. Ohnosecond - That very short moment in time during which you realize that you have pressed the wrong key and deleted hours, days, or weeks of work. Eiffelites - Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit. Meganegabar - The line you put on a check to prevent someone else from adding "and a million dollars." Frust - The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. Petrophobic - One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet. Snork - To spew what you're drinking or chewing in a fit of sudden laughter. Cylences - long gaps in a phone conversation that occur because one person is also reading email, IMing or shopping online. Accordianated - Being able to drive and re-fold a road map at the same time. Exhaustipated - Being so tired that when you try to speak, nothing comes out right. Testlosterone - The hormone that prevents men from stopping and asking for directions. Refunable – Something you enjoyed so much you’d do it again. Treeware - Documents made out of paper, as opposed to electronic documents. Disconfect - To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs. Newtrons - The magnetized particles that amazingly hold Fig Newtons together. Prairiedogged - The feeling of helplessness you get when co-workers in neighboring cubicles constantly pop their heads up to ask you stupid questions. Aqualibrium - The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (A) having to suck the nozzle, or (B) squirting themself in the eye/ear. Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Elecelleration - The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive. Mallmanac - In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise known as the "Directory". Hereoglyph - A little stick figure on a mallmanac that tells where you are. Peppier - The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. Phonesia - The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. Aeroma - The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics class. Dimp - A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?" Dessertification - The act of eating less than the entire meal, in order to "save room for dessert". Kirby - A Small but repulsive piece of food prominently attached to a person's face or clothing. Zen mail - an email message that arrives with no text in it. Klong - The sudden overwhelming feeling of fear and panic when you feel that everything is going well and you have plenty of time and you suddenly remember there was someplace else VERY important that you are supposed to be RIGHT NOW, and it's nobody's fault but your own that you aren't there. Snee - A sneeze that doesn't completely execute. You feel your nose tingling and you start inhaling, anticipating the forceful thrust of air and saliva that is expected, but it never materializes.
Nine Words Women Use
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement of ten misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!