A Change Of Vows
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer."Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "I do."Then, he leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, "She mademe a much better offer."

Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Proverbs ======================
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. All men eat, but Fu Man Chu. Crowded elevator smells different to midget. He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons If you want pretty nurse, you must be patient. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Man who farts in church sits in own pew. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.Man who get hit by car,get that run down feeling
Man who gets too big for his britches may get exposed in the end.Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who pee on electric fence receive shocking news. Man who places head in sand will get kicked in the end. Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner.Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who sit on tack get point. Man who sleep in bed of nails is holy. Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands. Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon.
Man with one chopstick go hungry. Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.