An anti-bat spray
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats - nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away." The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!"

A little change
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said:"Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.""That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."