Busted Doc!
A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring.
So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."
"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."
"My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"
"Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"
A DIET QUIZ
If you answer "yes" to eight or more of these questions, you may want to consider restricting your future calorie intake:
* Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send for you with a limo?
* After ordering lunch at a fast food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?
* Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?
* Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?
* Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?
* Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest Taco Bell?
* Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?
* On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?
* Do your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul?
* Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?
* Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets?