A customer sent an order to a distributor...
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voicemail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call,"Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

Amazing Anagrams
Amazing Anagrams

Dormitory == Dirty Room

Desperation == A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code == Here Come Dots

Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity == Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness == Genuine Class

Semolina == Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one

Contradiction == Accord not in it

This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!