A stolen credit card
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

A farmer and his girlfriend...
A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses."Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to do the same.""Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."