Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Being hurt
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself.The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet."Are you hurt?" he asked."Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"

A College Student’s Night Before Christmas
A College Student’s Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring hat my nerves were so shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were so muddy,
My eyes went ablur, I just couldn’t study.
“Some pizza might help,”I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.

I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off ambled inside.

Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
With her eyes open wide she started to bellow:
“What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?”

“On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! on Last Year’s Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and Last Minute Crams!”
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.

“Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy Finals to All, and to All, a good test.”





Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor... was a winner against 1stPerson: "Do you know anything about...
  • Business one-liners 04 was a winner against Bottle of Evian water?
  • On The Job Wisdom was a winner against An elderly patient needed a heart transplant...
  • Business is business was a winner against Being hurt
  • A preacher was completing a temperance sermon... was a winner against An invisible man is here to see you
  • The Passing of an Old Friend was a winner against Work vs. Prison
  • A doctor is complaining to a mechanic was a winner against Legal Troubles
  • Any Last Words? was a winner against A political man to a woman...
  • A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel... was a winner against A Dead Lawyer
  • And Jesus said unto his disciples... was a winner against An ancient Irishman