Air Heads
Poor Jim is killed in a Boston automobile accident, but happily he goes to heaven where he gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure. Go right ahead," says the Almighty.

"OK," Jim says, "Why did you make women so pretty?"

"So you would like them," God replies.

"All right then," Jim nods, "but come you made them so nice and soft and curvey?"

"So you would LOVE them," God replies.

Jim ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such air heads?"

God replies, "So THEY would love YOU!"

A staged wedding to bust dealers
As supposedly reported on CNN:

Undercover police, staging the wedding of "a drug kingpin's daughter", let it be known on the street that dealers were "invited" (i. e. Expected to attend).

The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was "S. P. O. C." (COPS, backwards), and the wedding went through the full ceremony, including the dancing afterward.

The long-sought dealers were arrested after the "band" took their break. The last song the band played before taking its break? "I Fought The Law, And The Law Won"