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After many years of trying to find steady work...
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

Buckwheat
Buckwheat of the Little Rascals fame grew up, became a Muslim, and changed his name.
He now goes by Kareem of Wheat.

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You can see the results below:

• A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child... won 51.08% of the times
• A man was leaving church one day... won 50.28% of the times