Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk
to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets
the family.

"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our
bodies came from the dust."

"That's right, Johnny, I did."

"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to
dust."

"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"

"Well you better come over to our house right away and look
under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

A housewife, an accountant
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked ''How much is 2 plus 2?''

The housewife replies: ''Four!''

The accountant says: ''I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time.''

The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, ''How much do you want it to be?''