A stolen credit card
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

A recent study showed...
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?