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Aussie Tossie
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

40th Birthday
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sherry? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"

She said, "I want a divorce."

He replied in shock, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."



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  • Absentminded Doctor to Patient won 49.66% of the times
  • A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500... won 50.34% of the times