A responsible applicant
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every timeanything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

A wife invited some people to dinner. At...
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"