Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

A test for being drunk
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.

He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."

"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm too drunk to do that!"


A henpecked husband...
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He wenthome, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?""I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A DIET PRAYER was a winner against Blonde Nurse
  • Blonde Nurse was a winner against A man worries
  • 3 Questions was a winner against Real Estate Ads Translated
  • A stupid dog was a winner against A little old lady goes to the doctor and...
  • Company Policy was a winner against A staged wedding to bust dealers
  • 40th Birthday was a winner against A Mexican bandit made a
  • A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop... was a winner against Blonde in Pain
  • A final diagnosis was a winner against Big Man in a Small Town
  • Benefits of the Revival was a winner against After the fall in Garden of Eden...
  • Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust was a winner against A sermon about lying