Benefits of the Revival
After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were
discussing the results with one another.

The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great
for us! We gained 4 new families."

The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We
gained 6 new families."

The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than
that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!"

A Short Time to Live
A man hasn't been fealing well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

"Nine..."