Vote For Your Favorite Joke

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet...
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds."Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.""From hunger, you mean?""No, from skipping."

At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women...
At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women:Defendant: "Your Honor, I wish to change my plea."Judge: "Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?"Defendant: "No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didn't know there would be women on the jury. Since I can't even fool my wife, I'll never be able to fool the four women jurors."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• How To Annoy People In An Elevator was a winner against A wife invited some people to dinner. At...
• A man in the army asks for a pass was a winner against A jealous husband hires a private detective...
• A walking economy was a winner against An Unusual Prayer
• A man with a pegleg, hook hand and... was a winner against Give a man a fish
• A guy in a bar was a winner against A stolen credit card
• Anniversary was a winner against A Bee at a Bar Mitzvah
• Tongue Twisters was a winner against 7 Word Obituary
• A stolen credit card was a winner against A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500...
• A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven... was a winner against Be Quiet in Church
• A preacher was completing a temperance sermon... was a winner against An invisible man is here to see you