Businessman is dying
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."

A really cold morning
Two men are meeting on the street."It was very cold this morning.""How cold was it?"I do not no exactly, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets."