Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

A College Student’s Night Before Christmas
A College Student’s Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring hat my nerves were so shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were so muddy,
My eyes went ablur, I just couldn’t study.
“Some pizza might help,”I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.

I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off ambled inside.

Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
With her eyes open wide she started to bellow:
“What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?”

“On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! on Last Year’s Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and Last Minute Crams!”
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.

“Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy Finals to All, and to All, a good test.”



Bad News and Good News
Jill phoned her husband, John, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said John, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat."

Jill replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear."

"OK darling," said John, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news."

"Okay," agreed Jill. "Well, the air bag works...bye!"



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • 10 Good Things About The Flu was a winner against A problem with teeth
  • At the first session of a conversion class... was a winner against Baptism Preparations
  • Bank customer service was a winner against A couple have not been getting along for years...
  • A famous General dies... was a winner against A customer sent an order to a distributor...
  • Bathtub Seizure was a winner against A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child...
  • A Problem of Problems was a winner against A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet...
  • A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were s... was a winner against Atheist professor
  • A wife invited some people to dinner. At... was a winner against An Internet Christmas
  • A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were s... was a winner against An Unusual Vet
  • A Real Watch Dog was a winner against An Evil Curse