40th Birthday
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sherry? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"

She said, "I want a divorce."

He replied in shock, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Give a man a fish
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!