A dog for a wife
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his firstassignment, and it was guard duty.A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervousyoung Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute,and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"The General, out for some relaxation, returned the saluteand said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going todisagree with the General, so the he saluted again andreplied "Sir, Yes Sir!".The General continued, "You know there's something about astormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing.Don't you agree?"The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just aprivate, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever,the best type of dog to train."The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said"Sir, Yes Sir!"The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!"

A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all...
A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all caught in a shipwreck. Naturally, there are a lot of sharks circling around. All of a sudden, one shark darts in and grabs the priest for lunch. No more priest.
The rabbi starts praying frantically, but to no avail, as a shark comes in and eats him, too.

Now the lawyer is really worried, as a shark is coming for him. But, miracle of miracles, the shark puts him on its back, carries him to shore, and lets him off.

The lawyer, curious, waits till the shark is far enough away not to eat him, and asks, "How come you didnt eat me?" And the shark replies, "Professional Courtesy!"