A man goes to his bank manager and says...
A man goes to his bank manager and says "I'd like to start a small business how do I go about it?"The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and replies "Buy a big one and wait."

A real dilemma
I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.