Business one-liners 99
When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.
When in doubt, use brute force.
When in trouble, delegate.
When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.
When it's you against the world, bet on the world.
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.
Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.
Biblical Bumper Stickers
Adam: "You are what you eat."
Eve: "At least he doesn't compare me to his mother."
Abraham: "I'm goin' not knowin'."
Noah: "Honk if you believe in treading water."
Moses: "From a basket case to the promise land."
Elizah: "When Jezebel ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
Balaam: "My second donkey talks!"
Prodigal Son: "All roads lead to home."
At the Sinai desert: "Winding road next 40 years"
At the Red Sea: "Caution! Subject to sudden flooding"