Bribing the Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the
opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by
both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney
Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket
and pulled out a check. He handed
it to Leon.
"Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide
this case solely on its merits.
An ounce of brains
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor.
It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.
There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce.
A jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce.
And a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of $800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a rip off! How come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"