Build an Ark
Build an Ark The Lord said to Noah, "In six months, I'm going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark." Six months passed. The skies began to cloud and rain began to fall. Noah sat in his front yard, weeping. "Why haven't you built the ark?" asked the Lord. "Oh, forgive me," said Noah. "I did my best, but so many things happened. "The blueprints you gave me didn't meet the city's code and I had to change them. Then the city said I was violating the zoning ordinance by building an ark in my front yard, so I had to get a varience.. "The Forest Service required tree-cutting permits, and I was sued by a state animal rights group when I tried to gather up the animals. "The EPA required an environmental impact statement concerning the flood. the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plain. "The IRS seized all my assets, claiming I was trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and the Equal Opportunity Commission said I wasn't hiring enough Croatians. "I'm sorry, Lord, but I can't finish the ark for at least five years." Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies cleared and the sun began to shine. Noah looked up and said, "Lord, does this mean you're not going to devastate the earth?" "Right," said the Lord. "The government already has."

Tongue Twisters
Tongue Twisters

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
It would chuck as much wood as it could,
And chuck as much wood
As a woodchuck would chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,a peck of pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick;if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,where's the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked?Peter Piper, the pickled pepper picker, picked a peck of pickled peppers,a peck of pickled peppers did Peter Piper, the pickled pepper picker pick;if Peter Piper, the pickled pepper picker, picked a peck of pickledpeppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper, thepickled pepper picker, picked?
 She sells sea shells by the sea shore.The shells she sells are surely seashells.So if she sells shells on the seashore,I'm sure she sells seashore shells. Rural juror  A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
 Sure the ship's shipshape, sir Freshly-fried flying fish. We surely shall see the sun shine soon  The big black bug's blood ran blue.

Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.

Cedar shingles should be shaved and saved. Black background, brown background.