Mothers....
A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?""Not too good,"says the mother. "I've been very weak."The son says, "Why are you so weak?"She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

12 Feet Deep
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep instead of just six?
Because deep down they really are good people.