Vote For Your Favorite Joke

After many years of trying to find steady work...
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet...
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds."Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.""From hunger, you mean?""No, from skipping."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• Give a man a fish was a winner against After many years of trying to find steady work...
• Buy machine factory was a winner against And Jesus said unto his disciples...
• A way to save your marriage was a winner against A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist...
• Application rejections was a winner against A Problem of Problems
• A lawyer and an engineer was a winner against A test for being drunk
• A customer sent an order to a distributor... was a winner against Blonde in Pain
• A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton... was a winner against A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer's tedious argument
• Give a man a fish was a winner against A man with a glass eye is here to see you
• A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500... was a winner against I tried to be a tailor...
• Boating Trip was a winner against A stupid dog