A farmer and his girlfriend...
A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses."Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to do the same.""Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."

After many years of trying to find steady work...
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.