A walking economy
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."

The friend asks, "How so?"

"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"

A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were s...
A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were sitting around a dinner table, having after-dinner coffee and arguing about religion. Suddenly, the Angel of the Lord appears and says, "I will grant one wish to each of you!"
The minister jumps to his feet and shouts, "I wish for the destruction of all Catholics!"

Then the priest jumps to his feet and shouts, "Well, I wish for the destruction of all Protestants!"

The angel turns to the rabbi and says, "What do you wish for, rabbi?"

And the rabbi says, "Well, if you're going to grant their wishes, then I'll just have another cup of coffee!"