Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

A College Student’s Night Before Christmas
A College Student’s Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring hat my nerves were so shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were so muddy,
My eyes went ablur, I just couldn’t study.
“Some pizza might help,”I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.

I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off ambled inside.

Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
With her eyes open wide she started to bellow:
“What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?”

“On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! on Last Year’s Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and Last Minute Crams!”
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.

“Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy Finals to All, and to All, a good test.”



A wife for Adam
God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?"

"Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me."

"Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

"Oh," says Adam, "Well what can I get for a rib?"



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • Business one-liners 08 was a winner against Boys and Girls
  • An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing was a winner against A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier...
  • Barber's don't exist was a winner against Company Policy
  • A guy in a bar was a winner against An Unusual Prayer
  • A certain lawyer was was a winner against Billy Gates writes to Santa
  • Facing Adversity was a winner against Bottle of Evian water?
  • A bad habit was a winner against A Lucky Break
  • Actual Answer from a Medical Student was a winner against A Woman's Seminars
  • A Night Before Christmas For Moms was a winner against A blonde bought an AM radio and it took her a month to find out she could listen to it at night.
  • A doctor is complaining to a mechanic was a winner against Buckwheat