A henpecked husband...
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He wenthome, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?""I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

A Bee at a Bar Mitzvah
A hungry bee meets a fellow bee who directs the hungry one
to a Bar Mitzvah. The hungry bee eats his fill, then again
meets his friend.

The second bee asks how it went, and hears that his friend
ate plenty. The second bee then asks why the first bee is
wearing a yarmulke (the small round cap that religious Jews
often wear).

The first bee replies, "It was a Bar Mitzvah. I didn't want
anyone to think I was a WASP."