Baptism Preparations
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young
father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are
you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers
and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and
cakes for all of our guests."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you
prepared spiritually?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a
case of whiskey."

A redneck gets shot
At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.

"Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'"

"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.

"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"