Best advice possible
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor,"You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can."After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied, "You asked me to give him good advice. I found out that he was guilty as hell, so I told him to split."

Business one-liners 99
When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.

When in doubt, use brute force.

When in trouble, delegate.

When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.

When it's you against the world, bet on the world.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.