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After many years of trying to find steady work...
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

Bathtub Seizure
Q: What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
A: Throw in a load of laundry.

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You can see the results below:

• An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends... won 51.18% of the times
• A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel... won 50.45% of the times