A golfer hit his drive on the first hole...
A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight at him. It hit him in the temple and killed him. He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?""Yes, I am," he replied.St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?"The golfer replied,"You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"

If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession
If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession=============================================  Animal trainer’s son: Leo Announcer’s son: Mike Astrologer’s son: Leo Astronomer’s daughter: Star Auto mechanic’s son: Jack Automobile salesman’s daughter: Mercedes Baker’s daughter: Cookie Barber’s son: Harry Beggar’s daughter – Penny Birdwatcher's son: Jay Boxer’s son: Jim Burger joint owner’s daughter: Patty Butcher’s son: Chuck Mechanic’s son: Otto Cartoonist’s son: Drew Cat breeder’s son: Tom Cattle thief’s son: Russell CEO’s son: Rich Chauffeur’s son: Brigham Clothing manufacturer’s daughter: Polly Esther Collection agency executive’s son: Bill College chancellor’s son: Dean Comedian’s son – Josh Commercial Fisherman’s daughter: Annette Computer programmer’s son: Chip Cook’s son: Stu Crocheter’s daughter: Lacey Day-trader’s daughter: Hope Dentist’s son – Payne Doorman’s son: Matt Drapery manufacturer’s sons: Curt and Rod Dressmaker’s son: Taylor Fisherman’s son: Rod Flag-maker’s daughter: Waverly Florist’s son: Bud Fly fisherman’s son: Wade Furniture polisher’s daughter: Buffy Gambler’s daughter: Betty Gambler’s son: Chip Geneticist’s son: Gene Gymnast’s son: Matt Highway Patrolman’s son: Chase Hospital nurse’s son: Ward Hot-dog vendor’s son: Frank Instruction book author: Manuel Iron worker’s son: Rusty Irrigation consultant’s daughter: Brooke Janitor’s son: Dustin Junk yard owner’s son: Rex Justice of the peace’s daughter: Mary Lawyer’s daughter: Sue Lawyer’s son: Will Maid’s son: Dusty Manicurist’s son: Hans Messenger’s son: Harold Meteorologist’s daughters: Haley, Gail, Sunny, Misty Miner’s son: Cole or Steele Minister’s daughter: Faith Minister’s son: Neal Mob Boss’s son: Don Mountaineer’s son: Cliff Movie star’s son: Oscar Museum curator’s son: Art Optician’s daughter – Iris Orchestra leader’s daughter: Viola Orthotic maker’s daughter: Eileen Painter’s sons: Art and Hugh Peace officer’s son: Marshall Plumber’s daughter: Piper Plumber’s sons: John and Lou Porter’s son: Cary Realtor’s son: Homer Researcher’s son: Grant Sheet rocker’s son: Wally Sound stage technician’s son: Mike Steam shovel operator’s son: Doug Tanning salon owner's son: Ray Tennis player’s son: Ace Thief’s son: Rob Tire installer’s son: Jack Trout fisher’s daughter: Brook Undertaker’s sons: Barry and Doug University lecturer’s son: Boris Wire-fencer’s daughter: Barb Woodworker’s daughter: Peg