Bosses versus workers
When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.
When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.
A housewife, an accountant
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked ''How much is 2 plus 2?''
The housewife replies: ''Four!''
The accountant says: ''I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time.''
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, ''How much do you want it to be?''
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