Can I take his place?
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.

An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."

The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."

A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton...
A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge."Toilette pepper!"