Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk
to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets
the family.

"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our
bodies came from the dust."

"That's right, Johnny, I did."

"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to
dust."

"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"

"Well you better come over to our house right away and look
under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

Funny Warning Labels
Funny Warning Labels:
=================================
Bowl Fresh (for toilets): Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Child's Scooter: This product moves when used.
Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping.
In an information booklet: "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet."
Little Ones Baby Lotion - Keep away from children
Manual for a microwave oven: "Do not use for drying pets."
On a bag of chips - "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs: "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."
On a box of animal crackers: "No animals were harmed during the manufacture of this product."
On a can of air freshener: "For use by trained personnel only."
On a curling iron: "For external use only"
On a Frisbee: "Warning: May contain small parts."
On a frozen dinner: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On a hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On a kids superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a package for an iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On a portable stroller: "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage."
On a shipment of hammers: "May be harmful if swallowed."
On a toilet bowl cleaning brush: "Do not use orally."
On Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
Wet-Nap directions: Tear open packet and use.





Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • Bees Pees was a winner against A guy in a bar
  • 40th Birthday was a winner against A lawyer's dog, running about
  • A Lawyer Died was a winner against An ounce of brains
  • If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession was a winner against On The Job Wisdom
  • Bang Bang! was a winner against As a sergeant in a parachute regiment...
  • Basketball was a winner against Facing Adversity
  • A golfer hit his drive on the first hole... was a winner against 3 Types of People
  • 15 Ways To Uplift the Workplace was a winner against A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday...
  • Cartoon Laws of Physics was a winner against The Passing of an Old Friend
  • Adults have learned was a winner against A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet...