40th Birthday
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sherry? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"

She said, "I want a divorce."

He replied in shock, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

An invisible man is here to see you
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.

Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.