12 Shots
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

Bumpy Air Travel
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.
As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence
a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and
with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God,
can't you do something about this storm?"

He looked at her and replied, "Lady, I'm in sales, not
management."