Absentminded Doctor to Patient
After a relaxing vacation, the doctor go in to see his
patient. The doctor says, "I have some bad news and some even
worse news. The bad new is you only have a week to live."

The patient replies, "Oh my God! What could be worse?"

The doctor replies, "I should have told you last week."

Funny Signs

Funny Signs:
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At a Budapest zoo - Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan - Stop - Drive Sideways.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner - Cooles and Heates - If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From the Soviet Weekly - There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners - Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby - The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office - We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a hotel in Athens, Greece - Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.

In a Japanese hotel room - Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Paris hotel elevator - Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Rhodes, Greece tailor shop - Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In a Swiss mountain inn - Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Tokyo Hotel - Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Tokyo shop - Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

In an Acapulco hotel - The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist - Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists.

In an East African newspaper - A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In the window of a Swedish furrier - Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant - Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop - Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Sign from a Majorcan shop entrance - English well talking