Bad Couch Trip
I've been feeling down for so long that I finally decided to
seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts then waited
for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make me feel
better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes
then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled
look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and
said, "Ummmmm, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is
very common among losers."
An ounce of brains
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor.
It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.
There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce.
A jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce.
And a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of $800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a rip off! How come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"