A lawyer's dog, running about
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, ''if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?''

''Absolutely,'' the lawyer responded.

The butcher immediately shot back, ''Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning.''

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.

The contents read ''Consultation Fee: $25.00.''

A sailor goes to a cementary
A sailor, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed
an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby
grave. The sailor walked up to the man and asked, "When
do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time
your friend comes up to smell the flowers."