A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier...
A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind them. Despondent, he said to the sergeant, "I think I'll just go and shoot myself."The sergeant said, "Better take a couple of extra bullets!"

Give a man a fish
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!