Air Heads
Poor Jim is killed in a Boston automobile accident, but happily he goes to heaven where he gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure. Go right ahead," says the Almighty.
"OK," Jim says, "Why did you make women so pretty?"
"So you would like them," God replies.
"All right then," Jim nods, "but come you made them so nice and soft and curvey?"
"So you would LOVE them," God replies.
Jim ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such air heads?"
God replies, "So THEY would love YOU!"
A Fisherman's Tale
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."