A Mexican bandit made a
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time, robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, DEAD or ALIVE!

A trigger happy, young, enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track down the bandit on his own and collect the reward. After a lengthy search, the Ranger tracked the bandit to his favorite cantina and snuck up behind him. At the sound of the Ranger's guns cocking and preparing to fire, the surprised bandit sped around only to see both of the Ranger's six-shooters bearing down on him.

The Ranger announced, ''You're under arrest! Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll drop you where you stand,'' his finger becoming itchy on the trigger.

However, the bandit didn't speak English and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately for the Ranger, a bilingual lawyer was present in the cantina and translated the Ranger's demand to the bandit. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried next to an old oak tree behind the cantina.

''What did he say, what did he say?'', the Ranger hurriedly asked.

To which the lawyer replied, ''Well, the best I can make out he said ... DRAW!''

Animals go to Heaven
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?'

The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.

The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'