Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

A boy comes home from school and tells his mother...
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked."I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"