Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Funny Warning Labels
Funny Warning Labels:
=================================
Bowl Fresh (for toilets): Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Child's Scooter: This product moves when used.
Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping.
In an information booklet: "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet."
Little Ones Baby Lotion - Keep away from children
Manual for a microwave oven: "Do not use for drying pets."
On a bag of chips - "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs: "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."
On a box of animal crackers: "No animals were harmed during the manufacture of this product."
On a can of air freshener: "For use by trained personnel only."
On a curling iron: "For external use only"
On a Frisbee: "Warning: May contain small parts."
On a frozen dinner: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On a hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On a kids superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a package for an iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On a portable stroller: "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage."
On a shipment of hammers: "May be harmful if swallowed."
On a toilet bowl cleaning brush: "Do not use orally."
On Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
Wet-Nap directions: Tear open packet and use.



A Dead Lawyer
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"





Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist... was a winner against Bonds Mature
  • A final diagnosis was a winner against Funny Warning Labels
  • A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi... was a winner against A farmer and his wife went into town for...
  • At The Pearly Gates was a winner against A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner...
  • Buckwheat was a winner against Automotive horror
  • Bad temper problem was a winner against Brain or muscles?
  • An accountant is having a hard time sleeping... was a winner against Buckwheat
  • Air Heads was a winner against A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice...
  • A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife... was a winner against Tests Before Having Children
  • Business is business was a winner against Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole...