A golfer hit his drive on the first hole...
A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight at him. It hit him in the temple and killed him. He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?""Yes, I am," he replied.St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?"The golfer replied,"You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"
Air Heads
Poor Jim is killed in a Boston automobile accident, but happily he goes to heaven where he gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure. Go right ahead," says the Almighty.
"OK," Jim says, "Why did you make women so pretty?"
"So you would like them," God replies.
"All right then," Jim nods, "but come you made them so nice and soft and curvey?"
"So you would LOVE them," God replies.
Jim ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such air heads?"
God replies, "So THEY would love YOU!"
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