Vote For Your Favorite Joke

Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done...
Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week." "I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor. "Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night." "No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?""Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

Can't chance it!
A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Halfway through their trip, the mother-in-law dies.

So the guy goes to an undertaker, who explains that they can ship the body home, but it'll cost $5,000 or they can bury her in the Holy Land for $150.

"We'll ship her home," says the son-in-law.

"Are you sure?" asks the undertaker. "That's an awfully big expense and I can assure you that we do a very nice burial here."

"Look," says the son-in-law, "two thousand years ago they buried a guy here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• Can I play the piano once these are off? was a winner against As a sergeant in a parachute regiment...
• A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton... was a winner against A couple came upon a wishing well...
• A staged wedding to bust dealers was a winner against A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...
• Billy Gates writes to Santa was a winner against A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane...
• Amazing Anagrams was a winner against Blind Justice
• Business one-liners 99 was a winner against A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights...
• A Lawyer Died was a winner against Funny Words of Wisdom
• Sniglets - Words That Should Exist was a winner against A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel...
• A Bee at a Bar Mitzvah was a winner against A local United Way office realized that...
• A Redneck Christmas was a winner against Cartoon Laws of Physics