A dog for a wife
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his firstassignment, and it was guard duty.A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervousyoung Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute,and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"The General, out for some relaxation, returned the saluteand said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going todisagree with the General, so the he saluted again andreplied "Sir, Yes Sir!".The General continued, "You know there's something about astormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing.Don't you agree?"The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just aprivate, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever,the best type of dog to train."The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said"Sir, Yes Sir!"The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!"

A missing person
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.

The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."

The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"